On one hand, we feel an enormous amount of joy. Joy that this little girl is more than we could have ever wished for. Joy that we are blessed enough to experience all of her firsts along side her. Joy that God answered our prayers in the most amazingly perfect way when he chose us to love this little girl.
On the other hand, we feel a twinge of pain. The pain comes from knowing that there is an amazing family that isn't experiencing any of Allie's firsts...the firsts that we know they are missing. Pain from knowing that someday Allie is going to wonder why this family isn't in her life. The pain also comes from knowing that someday we are going to have to have these difficult conversations with Allie...and at this point the prospect of all of that is unbelievably overwhelming.
I wonder if, as time goes on, the emotions we experience will change. I wonder if we will ever approach a birthday or Christmas and not think about T and wonder weather or not she will contact us. We never want to erase T from Allie's life. The hardest part is not knowing how she is and not knowing how we will explain everything to Allie in the years to come.
Even though special days tend to be emotionally draining at times, they are definitely days that we cherish with every ounce of our souls.
On Sunday we will be celebrating with my side of the family and we're very excited!!! Pictures yet to come!!!