Reactions

One of the things that we've come to realize lately is that not all of our friends and family members are open to our news of another adoption. Now, I'm not talking specifically about ONLY our family. I've noticed that our families are not the only families that struggle with the choices we've made. Our family (and friends) aren't the only people that let fear dominate their reactions. They aren't the only people that has a lukewarm reception (or a downright cold reception, in some instances).

Families are tough nuts to crack sometimes. As the person announcing your adoption-in-process, you want nothing more than your family to jump up and down with excitement. You want them to ask you what you need and for the crafty ones in the family to start knitting or sewing for your new little one. You want them to ask questions about how the process is going and to show some genuine excitment when things are moving forward (or genuine disappointment when things don't go as quickly or smoothly as you'd hoped). You want your family to play an active part in the process...just as they would if you had announced a pregnancy.

But all too often, this isn't the case.

Instead you hear stories of families who ask ridiculous questions like "will the child be sick and diseased?" or "Do you realize they have HIV in that country?" or "Why don't you adopt from country X (where there are white children) instead of from country Y (in Africa)?" "Why are you choosing that agency or that country?" or "Why don't you just adopt domestically again, it went so fast last time?"

Family members (and friends) will often site lots of reasons why interracial adoption is bad...or they'll tell adoption horror stories (that may or may not have any truth to them at all) that they've heard from a friend of a friend of a friend. They'll give a cool reception to the adoptive parent's faces, and then talk about how bad the decision is behind their backs. They'll wonder how on earth you could afford to spend thousands of dollars on an adoption process when you are just a teacher. They'll wonder if we are making "wise" choices for our family and for the child we already have at home. They might even say (and they have) that we should just be greatful for Allie. They won't think about the fact that had we just announced that we were expecting, the news would be received in a completely different way.

In the end, friends and family will probably think of a million reasons NOT to support you. They react in fear.

When all they really need is ONE reason TO support you.

They LOVE you.

One reason is all they need. But instead, they let fear override them...and you, the adoptive parent, have to suffer the consequences of their fear.

How sad is that?

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I've updated because we were having computer problems and now we found out that it's not worth fixing. We're trying to figure out what type of laptop we want to buy (and kind of putting it off for a while). In the mean time, I jump on a computer whenever possible.

As for us, Allie is changing EVERY day! I can't believe how big she's getting and how much she's learning! Allie continues to be off the charts as far as her height and weight. We have her 15 month appointment the first week in July and I am looking forward to seeing how much she's grown. At her one year appointment she was 28 lbs 2 oz and was 34 3/4 in long. She is running everywhere now, making my days very busy between running after her and trying to keep the house somewhat clean. She LOVES to read books. She'll take one out, "read" it in her loud voice, then she'll put it down and move on to the next one. It's adorable to watch! She's began talking a lot more lately...her newest words include (all one word in Allie language) "whatsthat", "thereitis", and "pup." If asked she can now find her belly button, nose, ears, and sometimes eyes. When she finds them she exclaims "thereitis"!!! Allie loves to give kisses and hugs to pretty much everyone. At a recent graduation, Allie walked up to this little girl (whom we didn't know) and gave her a big hug and kiss....the little girl proceeded to run crying to her mom! Everyone laughed!

Cory continues to enjoy his job and likes the fact that he can usually get done early during the summer and can spend the rest of the day with Allie and me.

I've decided to move from my fifth grade teaching position to a first grade teaching position next year. I'm excited to begin working with the younger students again. As much as I enjoyed my fifth graders, I think my heart is/will always be with the younger students. Needless to say, it's going to be a big change next year!

As far as Paulzine baby #2 goes....I'm excited to announce that we are finally on "the list" for a child of either gender, between the ages of 0-12 months from Ethiopia!!! The date that we were added to the list was last Friday (June 5, 2009). We've been told that right now, it's taking about 14 months for families to receive their referrals. A referral is when we receive pictures, medical information, and personal information about our child. They did tell us that the referral wait could extend before we get our referral. We are anticipating about a 15-16 month wait for a referral and then about 3 months later we will travel to Ethiopia to meet our newest member of the family. So with that said, we think that baby #2 will join our family in the winter of 2010 or early in 2011!

We hope all is well with all of you and hopefully we'll be able to buy a computer soon and post new pictures of Allie! Take care everyone!

Quote of the day...

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

Almost finished with our Dossier!

Last week (after 2 weeks of rushing around to complete documents) we finally finished completing the required documents to submit our next set of paperwork (dossier) to Ethiopia.  Now, we're just waiting on my passport.  It's been about a month and a half since I filed for a passport, but I haven't received it yet.  Before we can send our Dossier to Ethiopia, I have to have a photocopy of the title page of my passport.  So, as you can imagine, every day I rush home after school hoping that it'll be in our mailbox...so far no luck!  As most of you know, I'm not very good at this waiting thing.  Oh well, I guess it's just good practice for all the waiting that's yet to come (right Jen?!?!)!

After we submit our paperwork to Ethiopia, we have to complete some more documents and then we have to go to Sioux Falls for yet another set of fingerprints.  This set of fingerprinting is with the ISCIS (FBI fingerprinting).  That should be the majority of what we have to do for now....then we wait!  

As most international adoptions go, the "wait time" for Ethiopia seems to be increasing each month.  We are thinking right now that we will travel in the spring of 2011.  We'll just have to have faith that when the time is right for us and for our new little one we'll receive "the call".

Other than that, life is great!  Allie is getting to be such a big girl and it's fun to see how she understands what we say now more and more.  When you tell her to put her socks on, she'll take them and try as hard as she can to put them on!  It's just adorable (mommy biased)!  I just can't wait to spend the summer with her!  ONLY 8 1/2 more days to go!!!  YEAH!!!!

Last Saturday, Cory and I went with another couple (Trent and Katie Guida) to an Ethiopian restaurant in Sioux Falls to celebrate our adoptions and Mother's Day.  I wasn't sure if we were going to like the food, but we were pleasantly surprised!   It was very good and we plan on going back again soon!

That's about it.  I am unable to post pictures because our computer is broken and I can't upload pictures to my work computer!  Hopefully soon it'll be fixed!

Have a great week everyone!

Mother's day...

Dear T,
Today, we are thinking about you and about the sacrifices you made. Words can't even do justice the joy I feel every day from having Allie as my daughter . We will be eternally grateful for the gift that you have given to us.

We want you to know that we continue to pray for you and we think about you often. We feel a permanent bond to you even though we've only met twice. You will always be a part of our family. You will always be remembered. You will always be Allie's birthmom.

I want you to know that Cory and I will be there for Allie in good times and in bad. We were there for her when she took her first steps and we'll be there for the steps she takes as she walks down the isle at her wedding and all the way, you will be with us.

Happy Mother's day to the mother who made the ultimate sacrifice when Allie was born. Because I can't hug you myself, we pray that you can feel God's arms wrapped around you in the warmest embrace letting you know Allie is loved and cared for.

Happy Mother's day!

Sincerely,
Cory & Nikki

Finally finished!

Yesterday was our final meeting with our social worker to complete our homestudy for adoption #2!  We thought we'd be done with this part of the process about a month ago, but there were a few bumps in the road (it seems as though there are always bumps...I guess that's what keeps life interesting).  At the end of the meeting, our social worker congratulated us and told us that we were approved for adoption #2!  Although we figured that we'd be approved, it felt good to hear him say it because it finally feels real.  

I haven't actually blogged about the decisions we made as far as this adoption goes yet.  We've decided that this time around, international adoption is what's right for us and for our family.  With new restrictions on domestic adoption, we feel that the domestic program is no longer a way we want to add to our family.  We do know that the path that we are taking this time will be a long road (it's estimated that it'll take about 18-24 months), but we're excited about the future of our family.  We are also excited to learn as much as we can about Ethiopia, it's culture, Ethiopian foods, and pretty much anything and everything that will help us to love, nurture, and raise our newest member of our family.

I hope everyone is having a great week....only 5 weeks and 1 day left of my school year!!!  YEAH!!!!

Arrivals!

It's been a crazy few weeks and our computer seems to have decided that it doesn't like me very much.  Hopefully it will be fixed soon, because I'd love to share some new pictures with everyone! 

For those of you who have followed my blog long enough to have read my first blog, you may remember me talking a lot about one of my dearest friends, Nancy.  Her and her husband struggled with infertility for many, many years and had numerous setbacks along the way.  

I'm happy to announce the arrival of Eli John Paulzine born on April 9, to VERY proud parents Ray and Nancy Paulzine.  Everyone is doing great and Eli weighed in at 5 lbs 8 oz.  Hopefully I can share some pictures of this little guy soon because he's precious!  

Another one of my close friends, Shallyn, had her baby on Wednesday, April 8.  Ellie Nichole (great middle name isn't it?!?) Dybdahl weighed in at 5 lbs 2 oz and is also absolutely adorable!  As soon as my computer gets fixed and I get some pictures of little Ellie, I'll make sure to post them! 

Congrats to the new mommies!!!