For those of you who know me know that I'm pretty indecisive. However, we do have two girls names picked out for baby E. One name is biblical and is of African decent and the other is an Ethiopian name. As far as boys names go...I am lost. I simply don't like a lot of boys names and the fact that I'm a teacher doesn't help.
As we were talking about boy names, Adam (our failed adoption) came up and someone asked what we were going to name him. I froze...I couldn't remember what we had decided to name him. Adam was the name that he was given at birth, but most adoptive parents choose to change their children's name in some way. (Keep in mind, prior to our drive to the cities to meet his birth mom (Nezarah), we only knew about Adam for 3 days. We didn't decide on a name until we were just about to meet her... and since his failed adoption, we've always referred to him as Adam.) Crazy enough, Cory couldn't remember the name we chose for him either!
After a few minutes, the name we were going to give Adam came to me...and I just sat there amazed. When I walked into our house that Monday night only to find Cory sitting in the dark and then listening to him try to tell me, through his tears, that Nezarah had changed her mind... I was crushed. Adam's failed adoption was one of the most difficult things we have ever been through in our marriage, so how is it that we couldn't remember our name for him?
At one time, I wondered how I would ever get through a whole day without thinking about "Adam." As time went on and as our little Allie entered our lives, Adam simply became part of the story of how Allie came to us. It's amazing to think that this excruciating part of our life is in the past and the pain associated with it, although not forgotten, is gone. It makes me believe that God really doesn't give us more than we can't handle and that he has some grand plan for us all.